Haimanti

The daughter's father could perform Sabur, but the groom's father did not want to perform Sabur. He saw that the girl was past her marriageable age, but in a few days, it would be too late to suppress her in any polite or rude way. The age of the girl is illegitimately increased, but the relative importance of the money is still slightly higher than that, hence the rush.

 

I was the groom. So, it was unnecessary to verify my views on marriage. I have done my work, FA. I passed and got a scholarship. So the two sides of Prajapati, the daughter and the groom, often got upset.

 

In our country, a person who is once married has no more worries about marriage. When he gets a taste of meat, he feels like a tiger towards his wife. Irrespective of the condition and age, he has no hesitation in filling the need for a wife. I see all the doubts and worries of our new students. With the repeated proposal of marriage, the ripe hair of their father's side becomes raw again and again with the blessing of Kalpa, and at the first light of Ghatkali, their raw hair is about to become ripe overnight.

 

To tell the truth, I did not have such strange anxiety. On the contrary, the word marriage started blowing Southwind in my mind. One of the quirks of curious imagination fell into a whisper. For those who have to memorize five or seven books of Burke's Notes on the French Revolution, this is a bad idea. If there was any fear of my writing being approved by the textbook committee, I would have been careful.

 

But what am I doing? This is a story that I sat down to write a novel. Little did I know that my writing would begin in such a tone. I thought that the clouds of years of pain, which have become black and frozen, would be extinguished by heavy rain like the torrential rain of Baisakhsandha. But, I could not write a children's book in Bengali, because I have not read the grammar of Sanskrit fascination; And, I could not write poetry, because the mother tongue has not blossomed in my life to the extent that it can bring out my heart. That's why I see, the cremation monk inside of me sat laughing at you. What will you do without it? His tears have dried up. The cry of the elder is the tearless cry of the elder.

 

I will not give the real name of the person I was married to. Because there is no danger of controversy among archaeologists taking his name in the history of the world. The copper plate on which his name is engraved is my heart. I cannot think of that pot and that name ever disappearing. But, in the immortal world where it remained indestructible, there is no historian.

 

I want a name for him in this article. Well, I named him Shishir. Because, in the dew, laughter and tears are completely united, and in the dew, the talk of the morning comes and ends in the morning.

 

Shishir was only two years younger than me. However, it is not that my father was not in favor of Gauridan. His father was a staunch anti-socialist; He had no faith in the traditional religious practices of the country; He studied Kashia English. My father is fiercely social; In Mani, such things are bound to be found in our society, in Sadar or, in Deuri or Khidki, because he also studied Kashia English. The views of both grandfather and father are two different figures of rebellion. Nothing is simple. However, the reason my father gave me in marriage to an older girl is because the dowry amount is also bigger. After all, the girl is older. Shishir is the only daughter of my father-in-law. The father believed that all the money of the daughter's father was filling the womb of the future son-in-law.

 

My father-in-law did not have any particular opinion. He used to do great work under a king of a mountain in the west. His mother died when Shishi was in her arms. My father-in-law did not notice that the girl was growing up year after year. No one in his society would point a finger at him.

 

The dew turned sixteen in due course; But it is sixteen of nature, not sixteen of society. No one advised him to be careful of his age, he did not even look back at his age.

 

I was in my third year of college, I was nineteen, and I got married. Let the two sides fight and bleed to death over whether the age is appropriate according to society or according to the social reformer, but I say, that age is no less good for passing the examination, no less for entering into matrimonial relations.

 

Marriage dawned in the glimpse of a single photograph. I used to memorize the reading. A joker's relative put a picture of dew on my desk and said, 'Read real this time--absolutely broken neck.'

 

A picture taken by a clumsy craftsman. There was no mother, so no one tried to deceive the bridegroom by pulling her hair and tying it with lace, wearing a jaw-dropping jacket from Saha or Mallick company. Heavy a simple face, two simple eyes, and a simple saree. But, I cannot tell what the glory is all in all. As such, sitting on a stool, a striped cloth hanging behind him, a bouquet of flowers in a vase on a teepee beside him. And, two bare feet under the curved hem of the saree on the carpet.

 

As soon as I touched the golden wand of my mind on the image of Pott, he woke up in my life. How those two black eyes kept searching in the middle of all my thoughts. And, the two bare feet under that curved bank took my heart as its padmasana.

 

The pages of the calendar kept turning; Two or three weddings are delayed, and the father-in-law's holiday is no longer possible. On the other hand, a precocious four to five months is conspiring to push my age limit from nineteen years to a useless twenty years. He became angry with his father-in-law and his master.

 

Be that as it may, the wedding day came just before dawn. I remember every line of Sanai that day. I touched every moment of that day with all my consciousness. May those nineteen years of my life remain indelible in my life.

 

All around the commotion at the wedding; In the middle of it, the gentle hand of the daughter fell on my hand. What else is so surprising? My mind kept repeating, 'I got it,' 'I got it.' Who did I get? This is rare, this is human, and there is no end to its mystery.

 

My father-in-law's name is Gauri Shankar. He is like Mita of the Himalayas in which he lived. At the height of his seriousness, a steady smile rose. And those who knew him would not want to leave him, searching for a fountain of love deep within his heart.

 

Before returning to work, my father-in-law called me and said, 'Father, I have known my daughter for seventeen years, and I only knew you for these few days, yet she remained in your hands. May you understand the value of the wealth I have given you, there is no greater blessing.'

 

Everyone who cares for him repeatedly assured him, 'Don't worry about it. Just as your daughter has left her father, here she has found both her father and mother.'

 

After that, the father-in-law smiled as he said goodbye to his daughter; He said, 'I'm leaving. This is your only father, if anything is lost or stolen or destroyed from today I am not responsible for it.'

 

The girl said, 'That's right. If there is a loss somewhere, you will have to compensate him.'

 

Finally, he repeatedly warned his father about all the things that happened to him. My father-in-law did not have enough moderation in diet; There were a few exceptions, his special attachment to her--it was a daughter's job to prevent her father from all those temptations as much as possible. So today he held his father's hand and said anxiously, 'Father, you keep my word--will you?'

 

Baba laughed and said, 'People break bets to get out of breath. Therefore it is safer not to speak.'

 

After that, when the father left, the house fell into chaos. No one knows what happened after that.

 

A group of curious in-laws saw and heard the tearless farewell of father and daughter from the next room. Surprise! Staying in the country of Khotta has become Khotta! There is absolutely no illusion!

 

My father-in-law's friend Banmali Babu arranged Abad's marriage. He is also known to our family. He told my father-in-law, 'You have that one girl in the family. Now take a house next to them and spend your life here.'

 

He said, 'I wasted what I gave. Looking back now, it will be sad. There is no such irony as leaving the right to keep the right.'

 

After all, he took me into the privacy and said with the hesitancy of a criminal, 'My daughter likes to read books, and she also loves to feed people. I don't want to disturb Behai for that. I will sometimes send you money. Would your father be angry if he found out?'

 

I was surprised to hear the question. Father will get angry if money comes from any side in the world, I have never seen him in such a bad mood.

 

As if giving a bribe, my father-in-law quickly left after giving me a hundred rupee note; He did not bow to me. I saw from behind, this time the handkerchief came out of the pocket.

 

I sat down and thought. I understood in my mind that they were people of another caste.

 

I saw many friends getting married. As soon as the mantra is recited, the wife is swallowed in one gulp. After reaching Pakyantra, various qualities of this substance may be manifested and internal anxiety may appear from time to time, but nothing stands in the way. But I understood at the marriage ceremony that the family can survive on what the wife gets through the mantra of donation, but fifteen-anna remains. I suspect that most people marry wives, don't get them, and don't even know they don't; Even their wives do not catch this news for the rest of their lives. But, he was the treasure of my pursuit; He is not my property, he is my wealth.

 

Shishir-- No, that name was no longer used. It is not his name, nor is it his identity. He is constant like the sun; He is not the tearful farewell of the ephemeral Usha. Keeping it a secret - his real name is Haimanti.

 

I saw that all the light of youth had come upon this seventeen-year-old girl, but she had not yet woken up from the lap of youth. It was as if the morning light had fallen on the ice of the peak, but the ice had not yet melted. I know how immaculately white he is, how deeply holy.

 

I had a thought in my mind that an educated older girl, I don't know how to get her mind. But, very soon I saw that there is no intersection between the road of the mind and the road of the bookstore. When a little color caught on his white mind, his eyes felt a little dizzy, and when his whole body and mind became eager, I can't say exactly.

 

This is a sided thing. There is another side too, it is time to elaborate.

 

My father-in-law's job in the royal family. Rumors have put various figures as to how much money he had in the bank, but none of them have been below a lakh. The result of this was that, as his father's price increased, Haimar Adar also stayed at home. He is eager to learn the workings of our house, but his mother very lovingly does not let him touch anything. In fact, the maid who had come with Himar from the mountains, though they did not allow him to enter their house, did not even ask him about his caste, lest he should hear an awkward answer.

 

The days passed like this, but suddenly one day the father's face became very dark. Here's the thing - My father-in-law gave Rs 15,000 in cash and Rs 5,000 in jewelry for my marriage. Father got news from a broker friend of his, of which fifteen thousand rupees had to be collected by borrowing; His interest is not very small. Rumors of lakhs of rupees are completely false.

 

Although he never had any discussion with my father about the amount of my father-in-law's property, my father decided, I don't know on what grounds, that he had deliberately deceived him for his sake.

 

After that, Baba had an idea, something from my father-in-law Raja's chief minister group. After getting the news, he was the principal of the education department there. The father said that is, the headmaster of the school - the highest among all the noble positions in the world. Father had a big hope that I would be the royal minister when my father-in-law retired from work today or tomorrow.

 

At such times, the family members of the country came and gathered at our house in Calcutta on the occasion of Ras. Seeing the daughter, a murmur fell between them. The whispering gradually rose from insipid to bubbling. A grandmother from a distant relationship said, 'My forehead is burnt! At the age when the granddaughter defeated me too.'

 

Another grandmother said, 'If we are not going to give up, why would Apu go to fetch a wife from outside?'

 

My mother said very loudly, 'Oma, what is he talking about? The woman is not only eleven years old, but this coming Falgun will turn twelve. In the country of Khotta, people eat dal roti, that is why it has grown.'

 

Grandmother said, 'Son, I still don't see so much with my eyes. The girl's side must have grown old with you.'

 

Mother said, 'The wrestling we saw.'

 

It is true. But there is evidence in the court itself, that the age of the girl is seventeen.

 

The elders said, 'Isn't there any more cheating in wrestling?'

 

This led to a heated argument, even a dispute.

 

At such a time Haim came and was present. A grandmother asked, 'Granddaughter, tell me how old you are.'

 

Mother beckoned him with a wink. Haim did not understand his meaning; Said, 'Seventeen.'

 

Mother got busy and said, 'You don't know.'

 

Haim said, 'I know, I am seventeen.'

 

The grandmothers slapped each other.

 

Getting angry at the stupidity of the bride, the mother said, 'You know everything! As your father said, you are eleven.'

 

Haim was shocked and said, 'Father said? Never.'

 

Mother said, 'Surprised. Behai said in his face in front of me, and the girl said 'never'! Saying this, he closed his eyes once more.

 

Now Haim understood the meaning of the gesture. The voice said more strongly, 'Father can never say such a thing.'

 

Mother raised her throat and said, 'You want to call me a liar?'

 

Haim said, 'My father never lies.'

 

After this, the more the mother began to abuse, the more the ink of the words spread and spread around!

 

The mother angrily told the father about her daughter-in-law's stupidity and even more stubbornness. Baba called Haim and said, 'The old girl's daughter is seventeen, is it a matter of great pride, so it has to be covered? All this will not work here, I promise.'

 

Alas, how did the father's honeyed fifth tone towards his wife sound like such a hoot today?

 

Haim was distressed and asked, 'What shall I say if someone asks me my age?'

 

Dad said, 'There is no need to lie, you say 'I don't know, my mother-in-law knows'.

 

After listening to the advice on how not to lie, Haim remained silent in such a way that the father understood that his good advice was wasted.

 

My head went to him to be sad about Haimar's misfortune. That day, I saw that the simple and generous look in his eyes, like the autumn morning sky, had faded into doubt. He looked at my face like a frightened deer. Thought, 'I don't know them.'

 

That day I bought a book of English poetry for him. He took the book in his hand and slowly placed it on his lap, without opening it once.

 

I picked up his hand and said, 'Haim, don't be angry with me. I will never hurt your truth, I am bound by the bonds of your truth.'

 

Haim smiled a little without saying anything. He who is given that smile by God does not need to say anything.

 

Since my father's financial prosperity, pujacharana has been going on in our house with renewed enthusiasm to perpetuate the grace of God. So far he has not called the bride of the house in all the activities! One day worship was ordered for the new bride; He said, 'Mother, tell me what to do.'

 

It is not supposed to break the sky on anyone's head, because everyone knows that a daughter is a person in a motherless exile. But the reason for this order is only to shame Haima. Everyone put their hands on their cheeks and said, 'Oma, what is this? This is the daughter of an atheist. Now Lakshmi has left this world, and there is no delay.'

 

On this occasion, what should not be said was said to Haimar's father. Ever since the wind of bad words, Haim has endured everything in complete silence. He did not even shed a tear in front of anyone for a day. Today, his big eyes started to water. He stood up and said, 'You know-- everyone calls my father a sage in that country?'

 

Sage says! A full smile fell. After this, when mentioning his father, it was often said, your sage father! It made our family understand that this girl's place was better than everyone else.

 

In fact, my father-in-law is neither a Brahmin, nor a Christian, and may not even be an atheist. He never even thought about devarchana. He taught and listened to his daughter a lot, but he never gave her any advice about God. Banmali Babu took this and questioned him once. He said, 'To teach what I do not understand will only teach hypocrisy.'

 

Anthapura Haimar was a true devotee, she is my younger sister Narani. He had to endure many beatings for saying that he loved his wife. I used to listen to all the insults of Himar during the family journey. I have not heard from Haimer even for a day. He could not bring these words to his mouth out of shyness. He is not ashamed of himself.

 

Haim would let me read all the letters he got from his father. The letters are short but full of juice. He also used to show me all the letters written to my father. Her marriage could not have been complete if she had not shared her relationship with her father with me. There was not even a hint of complaint about the in-laws in his letter. It could have been dangerous. I have heard from Narani that her letters were sometimes opened to find out what was written about her in-laws.

 

Finding no evidence of guilt in the letter did not calm the minds of the superiors. I think they felt the sadness of hopelessness. Bisham got annoyed and started saying, 'What are these frequent letters for?' Father is everything, we are nothing.' A lot of unpleasant things started going on with this. I was impressed and said to Haim, 'Don't give your father's letter to anyone else but give it to me. I will post it when I go to college.'

 

Haim was surprised and asked, 'Why?'

 

I didn't answer him out of shame.

 

Now everyone in the house started saying, 'This time Apu's head has been eaten. B.A. Degree studies continued. What is the son's fault?

 

He is. The fault is all in the mind. His fault is that he is seventeen; It is his fault that I love him; His fault is this law of God, so all the sky is playing the flute in the hole of my heart today.

 

B.A. I could have given the degree reluctantly, but I bet on the welfare of my heart, I would pass and pass well. There were two reasons why I felt it was possible to save this prize in that situation--One was that there was such an expanse of the sky in Haimar's love that he did not keep his mind bound in narrow attachment, a heavy healthy air of that love was blowing on all sides. Second, the books required to be read for the exam were not impossible to read together with Hymer.

 

I tried to pass the exam. One Sunday afternoon I was sitting in the outer room plowing through the special lines of Martino's characterization book with a blue pencil when my eyes suddenly fell outside.

 

On the north side of the courtyard in front of my house is a staircase leading to the inner courtyard. A single window is sometimes placed on his body. I saw Haim sitting quietly in one of his windows and looking towards the west. On that side, the Kanchan tree in the garden of the Malliks is covered with pink flowers.

 

Pushed my chest and gave a blow, a veil of carelessness in my mind was torn. I have never seen the form of this silent deep pain so clearly!

 

Nothing, I could only see his sitting posture. Rests on one arm on lap and other resting, head leaning against the wall, loose hair draped over the left shoulder and draped over the chest. My chest heaved.

 

My own life is so full that I can't see any emptiness anywhere. Today I suddenly saw a very big pit of despair very close to me. How do I fill it up?

 

I don't have to give up anything. No relatives, no habits, nothing. Haim—all those fallen have come to me. I have not thought about how much it is. He sits on the thorn of humiliation in our world, I have also shared that bed with him. I was united with Haimar in that sorrow, it did not separate us. But, this Girinandini has become a human being in a great freedom in seventeen years. In what pure truth and generous light His nature has become so straight white and strong. I have not been able to fully feel how despondently and cruelly Haim was separated from her, for I did not have an equal seat with him there.

 

Haim who was dying moment by moment in his heart. I can give it all but I can't release it--where is it in myself? That's why in the streets of Calcutta, through the gap between those towers, his silent mind talks with the silent sky; And one day at night I woke up suddenly and saw that he was not in bed; Lying on the roof with his head on his hands and his face raised to the stars in the sky.

 

Martino continued reading. I started to think, what to do. From childhood I was never shy of my father--never had the courage or the habit to court him face to face. I could not stay that day. Feeling ashamed, I sat down and told him, 'My wife's body is not good, she should be sent to her father.'

 

Dad is totally confused. There was no doubt in my mind that Haim had introduced me to such an unprecedented competition. At that time he got up and went to Antapur and asked Haim, 'Tell me, woman, what is your illness.'

 

Haim said, 'There is no disease.'

 

Baba thought, this answer is to show brilliance.

 

But, we did not understand that Hema's body was getting dry day by day. One day Banmali Babu was surprised to see him, 'Oh, what is this! Haimi, how do you look! Didn't you get sick?'

 

Haim said, 'No.'

 

Ten days after this incident, without saying anything, suddenly my father-in-law came and appeared. Banmali Babu must have written to him about Haimar's body.

 

After the wedding, the daughter choked your tears while saying goodbye to her father. This time, on the day of the meeting, as the father held his chin and lifted his face, Haimar's tears did not obey. Father could not say a word, did not even ask 'how are you'. My father-in-law saw something on his daughter's face that broke his heart.

 

Haim took his father's hand and took him to the bedroom. There are many things to ask. His father's body is not looking good either.

 

Father asked, 'Old woman, will you go with me?'

 

Haim said like Kangal, 'I will go.'

 

Father said, 'Well, I am fixing everything.'

 

If the father-in-law had not been very anxious, then he would have realized that he was no longer here after entering the house. Considering his sudden appearance as a nuisance, the father did not say a word. My father-in-law remembered that his sake had once repeatedly assured him that when he would be able to take his happy daughter home. He could not even remember that this truth could be otherwise.

 

Baba took a puff of tobacco and said, 'Bye, I can't say anything, once it's inside the house--'

 

I knew what it meant to refer to the house-within. I understand, nothing will happen. Nothing happened. The woman's body is not good! Such a big unfair slander!

 

Father-in-law himself brought a good doctor for examination. 'A change of air is necessary,' said the doctor, 'or there may suddenly be a severe convulsion.'

 

Dad laughed and said, 'Suddenly a strong attack can happen to everyone. Is this a thing again?'

 

My father-in-law said, 'You know, he's a famous doctor, what does he say--'

 

Father said, 'I have seen so many doctors. By virtue of Dakshina, all the scholars get all the provisions and all the doctors get the certificates for all the diseases!'

 

Hearing this, my father-in-law was completely stunned. Haim realized that his father's proposal had been humiliatingly rejected. His mind became completely wooden.

 

I didn't wear it anymore. I went to my father and said, 'I will take Haim.'

 

Dad roared, 'That's--' etc. etc.

 

Some of my friends have asked me why I didn't do what I said. It would have happened if he took his wife and forced her out. Why didn't I go? Why! If I do not push Satyadharma to folk religion, if I cannot sacrifice people from home to home, then what is the teaching of many ages in my blood to do? do you know I was also there when the people of Ayodhya demanded to give up Sita. And I am one of those who have been singing about the glory of that sacrifice for ages. And, that day, I wrote an article in the monthly paper describing the virtues of abandoning one's wife for the sake of entertainment. Who knew that one day I would have to write the second story of Sita Visarjan with the blood of my chest.

 

It was time to say goodbye to father and daughter once again. This time, both of them have a smile on their faces. The daughter reprimanded with a smile and said, 'Father, if you ever come running to see me in this house, I will open the closet.'

 

Father said with a smile, 'If I come again, I will come with Sindhka.'

 

After this, I never saw that sweet smile on Haimar's face even for a day.

 

I can't tell what happened after that.

 

I hear the mother is looking for a bride. Maybe one day I won't be able to ignore my request, it might be possible. Because - stay and work!