Wife's letter (streer potro)

Sri Charan Kamleshu











We have been married for fifteen years today, I have not written to you till today. Forever lying near - You have heard a lot of word of mouth, I have heard it too; I have not found the gap to write a letter.

 

Today I have come to make a pilgrimage to Srikshetra, you are here for your apis. Calcutta is yours as the shell is to the snail; He is attached to your body and mind; So you did not apply for leave in Apis. God intended so; He has granted my leave application.

 

I am your wife. Today, fifteen years later, standing on the edge of this sea, I have come to know that I have another relationship with my world and Jagadishwar. So I am boldly writing this letter today, this is not a letter from your husband.

 

My brother and I fell down together in the parochial fever in childhood, when no one knew of the possibility except him who wrote my relation to you on his forehead. My brother died, I survived. All the girls in the neighborhood started saying, 'Mrinal is a girl or not, that's why he survived, if he was a boy, would he have been saved?' Yama is seasoned in theft, his greed is after expensive things.

 

i don't die I am writing this letter to explain that very well.

 

The day your distant uncle came to see the bride with your friend Nirad, I was twelve years old. Our home in a remote suburb, where jackals call during the day. Our village can be reached by taking a seven-crosh sacra car from the station and palanquining the remaining three miles on unpaved roads. What harassed you that day? On top of that, the cooking of our Bengal country - the farce of that cooking has not been forgotten by uncle.

 

Your mother was very determined to make up for the lack of your elder wife's appearance with a maid wife. Otherwise, why do you go to our village so hard? In Bangladesh, you don't have to look for liver colic and brides - they grab you and don't want to let go.

 

Father's chest started heaving, mother started chanting Durganam. What will the village worshiper satisfy the god of the city? Relying on a girl's appearance, but, the gummer of that appearance is not in the girl, the person who comes to see her will pay her the price. Therefore, the shyness of a girl does not lead to anything, even if it is multiplied in a thousand ways.

 

This terror of the whole house, nay, of the whole neighborhood, pressed like a stone in my breast. All the light in the sky that day and all the power in the world were trying to force a twelve-year-old village girl to stand before two pairs of examiner's eyes -- I had nowhere to hide.

 

The whole sky started to cry and the whistle started playing -- I came to your house. After scrutinizing my flaws, Ginny's team all agreed that I was beautiful overall. Hearing that, my elder Jay's face became serious. But, I thought what was the need of form. If an old-fashioned scholar had made the form with Gangamritika, it would have been admired; But, it is only created by God for his pleasure, so it has no value in your religious world.

 

It didn't take long for you to forget what I looked like. But, the wisdom that I have, you have to remember step by step. That intelligence is so natural to me that even after spending so much time in your house, it still persists. Bisham was worried about this idea of ​​uncle, it is a disaster for a girl. He who has to follow obstacles, if he wants to follow wisdom, he will break his forehead by stumbling. But tell me what to do. God carelessly gave me much more than the wisdom required of the wife of your house, to whom I now give it back. You called me a girl twice. Bitter words are the comfort of the weak; So I forgave him.

 

There was one thing about me outside of your home that none of you knew. I used to write poems secretly. Whatever it is, your inner wall has not risen there. There is my salvation; There I am. What in me is beyond your husband, you did not like, nor did you recognize; The poet that I am, has not been caught by you even in these fifteen years.

 

The first memory of your home that comes to my mind is your cowshed. Your cows are in the house right next to the stairs to the inner palace, they have no place to move except in the front yard. In the corner of that yard is a wooden pot for their jabna deva. Various tasks in the morning; The resident cows used to lick the edges of the pot and chew it. My soul was crying. I am a girl from Paragaon -- the day I first came to your house, those two cows and three calves caught my eye like my familiar relatives in all the city. As long as I was a new wife, I secretly fed them without eating; When I grew up, my mocking relatives would begin to doubt my caste, noting my apparent fondness for cows.

 

My daughter died at birth. He also called me while going with him. If he was alive, he would have brought everything big, everything true in my life; Then I became a mother from Mezobou. The mother who is from the one-world is also of the world-world. I got the sorrow of being a mother but I didn't get the freedom of being a mother.

 

I remember that the English doctor came and was surprised to see us inside and grumbled with disgust at the infirmary. You have a little garden at headquarters. There is no lack of decoration in the house, and the interior is like the reverse of fur work; There is no shame, no shame, no decorum. There the light flickers; The wind enters like a thief; Yard waste doesn't want to move; All the taints of the walls and the table remain incorruptible. But, the doctor made a mistake, he thought, which makes us sad all the time. On the contrary, the unloved thing is like ashes, which may contain the fire within but do not allow its heat to be felt externally. Disrespect does not seem unfair when self-esteem is low. That is why he has no pain. That's why women are ashamed to feel sad. I say so, the woman must suffer, if this is your arrangement, it is better to leave her in disrepute as far as possible; Love only increases the pain.

 

Just like that, it never occurred to me to remember that there is sorrow. Death came to his head in the house, he was not afraid. What is life for us - or that we have to fear death? Only those whose lives have been strengthened by love and care are bound to die. If Yama had pulled me that day, I would have come up with all the roots as easily as a blade of grass comes out of loose soil. A Bengali girl can die with words. But, what is the bravery in dying. It is a shame to die; It's that easy for us.

 

My daughter rose and set like an evening star. Read about my routine and calf again. Life would go on and on like that; There was no need for you to write this letter today. But, the wind blew a little seed and brought forth the sycamore shoot within the brick building; At the end, the ribs of the brick chest were torn from that. In the middle of my world's ripe settlement, the little particle of life flew from where; After that the crack started.

 

After the death of the widowed mother, my elder sister Bindu came to our house and took refuge with her aunt due to the oppression of her cousins, you thought that day, where is this calamity again. My burnt nature, tell me what to do -- I see, you are all upset in your hearts, so my whole heart stood with all my heart by the side of this helpless girl. To take refuge in the next house unwillingly -- what a disgrace. Can he be pushed to one side who has to accept the responsibility.

 

After that, I saw the condition of my big inventory. He brought the sister to him with great pity. But, when she saw her husband's reluctance, she began to think that it was a curse of hers, that she would live only if she could remove it. He did not have the courage to openly show his affection to this orphan sister. He is Patibrata.

 

Seeing his crisis, my heart became more distressed. I saw that the elder Ja showed everyone a little specialness and made such lavish arrangements for Bindu's food and clothes and employed her in all kinds of house-maids in such a way that I felt, not only sorrow, but shame. He is busy proving to everyone that Bindu has been found at a huge advantage in our world. It does a lot of work, but is very cheap in terms of cost.

 

There was nothing big in our great-grandfather's family except clan -- no looks, no money. He knows how my father-in-law got married in your house. He has always remembered his marriage as a sin against this clan. Therefore, he occupies a very small space in your house, compressing himself as much as possible in all matters.

 

But, we have a big problem in this sadhu example of his. I cannot cut you so short in every way. It is not my business to accept what I consider good to be bad for someone else's sake - you have also got plenty of proof of that.

 

I dragged Bindu to my room. Didi said, 'Mezobou sat down to eat the head of the poor girl's house.' He complained to everyone as if I had caused a danger. But, I know for sure, he survived in his heart. Now the burden of blame fell on me. His heart was lightened by giving me the affection that he could not show to his sister himself. My elder brother used to try to drop two to four digits from Bindu's age. But, it would not be wrong to hide the fact that he was not younger than fourteen. You know, he was so bad-looking that if he fell and broke his head, people would worry about the house floor. So there was no one to marry her for want of parents, and few people had the strength of mind to marry her.

 

Bindu approached me with great fear. As if I can't stand his touch. As if he had no conditions to be born in the world; So he just sidestepped, averted his eyes. In his father's house his cousins ​​did not want him to leave even a corner where an unnecessary thing might lie. Unnecessary garbage is easily placed around the house, because people forget about it, but the unnecessary girl who is unnecessary and it is difficult to forget her on top of it, that is why it has no place in Aastakur. But there is no way to say that Bindu's first cousins ​​are the ultimate material in the world. But, they are quite there.

 

So, when I called Bindu to my house, her chest started shaking. I was very sad to see his fear. I kindly explained to him that he has a little space in my house.

 

But, my house is not only my house. So my job was not easy. If he stays with me for two or four days, he will get red skin, maybe he is scratched, if not, it will be something else. You said spring. Because that is the point. If a clumsy doctor comes to your neighborhood and says that he will not go for two or one days, it cannot be said correctly. But who will survive the two-day Sabur. The point is to die of the shame of his disease. I said, come spring, I will have him in our greenhouse, and no one will have to do anything. When all of you are angry with me about this, even when Bindu's sister is pretending to be very upset and suggests sending the Porakapali girl to the hospital, all the red spots on her body disappeared completely. See if you get more busy with it. Said, spring must have sat. Because that is the point.

 

One of the great qualities of being human is that it makes the body absolutely immortal. Bamo doesn't want to be -- the main roads to death are completely closed. So the disease mocked him, nothing happened. But it is understood that sheltering the most innocent people in the world is the most difficult. The more he needs shelter, the more he has obstacles to shelter.

 

When Bindu's fear of me broke, another gripe gripped her. When you started loving me so much that you scared me. I have never seen such a statue of love in the world. I have read in the book, she is also a girl among men. For a long time no reason occurred to me to die of the form that I had -- after so long this ugly girl took that form. Seeing my face, his eyes could not stop. Said, 'Didi, no one has seen this face of yours except me.' The day I used to tie my own hair, on that day, he was very proud. He loved to move the load of my hair with both hands. I didn't need to dress up unless I was going to an invitation somewhere. But, Bindu made me unsettled every day. The girl was totally crazy about me.

 

There is not a speck of land anywhere in your interior. On the north side of the panchil, a sapling has grown somewhere along the drain. The day I see the new leaves of the gab tree turning into a bright color, I know that spring has arrived. The day that unloved girl's heart became so colorful in my home tears, I realized that there is a spring breeze in the world of the heart - it comes from heaven, not from the corner of the street.

 

Bindu's love made me uneasy with the painful speed. Once I was angry with him, I admit, but through his love I saw a face of you that I had never seen before in my life. That is my free form.

 

On the other hand, you think that I am treating a girl like Bindu so much that it is too much. There was no end to the fuss. On the day Bajubandha was stolen from my house, you were not ashamed to hint that Bindu had any hand in that theft. When people's houses were searched in the Swadeshi commotion, you easily suspected that Bindura was the police's pet girl. He had no other evidence than this, the point.

 

The maids of your house objected to her doing any of her work -- if she asked any of them to do her work, he and she would become quite shy. Due to all these reasons, my expenses for him increased. I especially keep a separate maid. You didn't like that. You were so angry at the clothes I used to let Bindu wear that you stopped my money. From the next day I started wearing a pair of thick kora call dhoti costing five-sik. And when Moti's mother came to take my plate of rice, I stopped her. I myself went to the barn in the yard and washed the dishes by feeding the calf a lot of rice. One day suddenly you were not very happy to see that scene. Even if it doesn't make me happy, it doesn't matter if it doesn't make you happy, this wisdom never occurred to me till today.

 

Meanwhile, Bindu's age is increasing as your anger has also increased. You were unusually embarrassed about that normal thing. Remembering one thing, I wonder why you didn't forcibly send Bindu out of your house. I understand well, you fear me in your heart. God who gave me wisdom, do not live without the sake of him inside.

 

Finally, unable to dislodge Bindu by your own power, you take refuge in the butterfly god. Bindu's groom is right. Baro Ja said, 'Banchlum, Mother Kali saved the face of our clan.'

 

I don't know how the bridegroom is; I heard from you that everything is good. Bindu hugged my legs and started crying; Said, 'Didi, why should I get married again?'

 

I explained a lot to her and said, 'Bindu, don't be afraid - I heard that your husband is good.'

 

Bindu said, 'If the groom is good, what do I have that will make him like me.'

 

The bridegroom did not even mention coming to see Bindu. Grandmother was very relieved.

 

But Bindu's crying does not stop day and night. I know what he is suffering from. I fought a lot in the world for Bindu, but I did not have the courage to say that her marriage should be stopped. What should I say? What will happen to him if I die? It's a girl, it's a black girl -- it's better not to think about whose house she went to, what will happen to her. When thinking about it, the soul trembles.

 

Bindu said, 'Didi, there are five days left for the wedding, won't I die in the meantime?'

 

I scolded him a lot, but deep down I know, if Bindu could have died easily, I would have felt better.

 

The day before the wedding, Bindu went to her sister and said, "Sister, I will stay in your cowshed, I will do whatever you tell me, don't throw me at your feet like that."

 

Didi's eyes were secretly watering for some time, that day too. But, not only the heart, there is also scripture. He said, 'You know, Bindi, the husband is the woman's speed and freedom. If there is sadness on the forehead, no one can deny it.'

 

The fact is, there's no way around it -- Bindu has to get married, whatever happens after that.

 

I wanted the marriage to take place at our home. But, if you say, you want to stay at the groom's house - that is their custom.

 

I understand that if you have to spend money for Bindu's marriage, your house deity will not bear it. So I had to keep quiet. But, one thing none of you know. Didi wanted to know but didn't because she would have been scared to death -- I secretly dressed up Bindu with some of my jewelry. Perhaps Didi's eyes will have it, but she did not see it. For the sake of religion, forgive him.

 

Before leaving, Bindu hugged me and said, 'Didi, what if you leave me completely?'

 

I said 'No Bindi, whatever your condition, I will not leave you till the end.'

 

Three days passed. The sheep which the people of your taluk gave you for food, saved from your fire, I let live on one side of our coal-storage house. In the morning, I myself would come to feed him grain; Having depended on your servants for a day or two, I found them more inclined to eat him than to feed him.

 

That morning, I entered the room and saw that Bindu was sitting in a corner. Seeing me, he hugged my legs and fell down and started crying silently.

 

Bindu's husband is crazy.

 

'Are you telling the truth, Bindi?'

 

'Can I tell you such a big lie, sister? he is crazy Father-in-law didn't like this marriage -- but he fears my mother-in-law like Yama. He left Kashi before marriage. The mother-in-law insisted on marrying her son.

 

I sat down on that rush-burnt coal. A girl doesn't like a girl. He said, 'She is not a book about women. Whether he's a boy or not, he's a man.'

 

Bindu's husband is not suddenly understood to be crazy, but one day he becomes so insane that he has to be locked in the house. On the wedding night he was fine but from the second day on account of night-waking etc. his head became very bad. Bindu was sitting eating rice in a brass plate at noon, suddenly her husband pulled out the cooked rice and threw it in the yard. How suddenly he thought, Queen Rasmani herself; The behara must have stolen the golden plate and let the queen eat rice on her own plate. This is his anger. Bindu was scared to death. On the third night when her mother-in-law asked her to sleep in her husband's room, Bindu's soul dried up. Mother-in-law has no sense of her fierce, angry anger. He's also mad, but more terrifying because he's not completely mad. Bindu had to enter the house. Husband was cold that night. But Bindu's body became wood in fear. While the husband slept many nights he escaped by many tricks, there is no need to write a detailed account of it.

 

My whole body started burning with hatred and anger. I said, 'Such a fake marriage is not a marriage. Bindu, stay with me as you were, let's see who can take you.'

 

You said, 'Bindu is lying.'

 

I said, 'He never lied.'

 

You said, 'How do you know?'

 

I said, 'I know for sure.'

 

You threatened, 'Bindu's in-laws will be in trouble if they file a police case.'

 

I said, 'Won't the court listen to the fact that she got married to a crazy groom by cheating?'

 

You said, 'But do we have to go to court about this or not? Why, what is our responsibility?

 

I said, 'I will sell my jewelry and do what I can.'

 

You said, 'Will the lawyer run home or not?'

 

There is no answer to this. I can stab my forehead, what else can I do.

 

On the other hand, Bindu's brother-in-law came out of Bindu's in-laws' house and made a strange noise. He says that he will report to the police station.

 

I don't know what strength I have -- but the cow that fled from the hands of the butcher and took refuge in me could not give in to the pursuit of the police again. I said competitively, 'Tara dik police station news.'

 

I thought this, brought Bindu to my bedroom and locked her with her. Look, there is no point. While my argument with you was going on, Bindu went out and grabbed his broom. I understand that if he stays in this house, he will put me in danger.

 

By running away in the middle, Bindu added to his sorrow. His mother-in-law's argument is that His son was not eating him. Examples of bad husbands are not rare in the world, compared to them his son is a golden moon.

 

My elder brother said, 'What should I do about his burnt forehead? Be it mad, be it a goat, it is a husband.'

 

The example of the saint carrying the leper to his wife's house by herself, was waking up in your mind; To this day, you men have not felt the slightest hesitation in spreading this story of the worst cowardice in the world, that's why you have been able to get angry with the use of points on human beings, you have not walked. My chest burst for Bindu but my shame for you knew no bounds. I am a village girl, I am lying in your house above him, God gave me such wisdom through a gap. I can't stand all these religions of yours.

 

I knew for sure that Bindu would not come to our house even if I died, but I had given her hope on the eve of marriage that I would not leave her until the end. My younger brother Sarat was studying in college in Calcutta; You know, doing all kinds of volunteering, killing rats in the neighborhood of plague, running in the flood of Damodar, he was so enthusiastic about it that he became F.A. twice. Failing the exam did not deter anything. I called him and said, 'So that I get news of the point, you have to arrange it, Sarat. Bindu will not dare to write me a letter, even if I write I will not receive it.'

 

He would have been happier if I had told him to rob Bindu or break the head of her mad husband than to do such a thing.

 

When I was discussing with Sarat, you came home and said, 'What ruckus have you caused?'

 

I said, 'That which I built in the beginning, I came to your house - but that is your achievement.'

 

When you ask, 'Have you brought the point back and hidden it somewhere?'

 

Aki said, 'If the point had come, I would have brought it and hidden it. But he will not come, you are not afraid.'

 

Seeing Sarat close to me made your suspicions grow. I know you don't like autumn visiting our house. You were afraid that the police are after him - one day he will fall into a political case, then he will involve you. That's why I used to send him to brother-in-law without calling him at home.

 

I heard from you that Bindu has run away again, so he has come to your house to look for his Vasu. Hearing that, the shell pierced my chest. I understand the unbearable suffering of the unfortunate but there is no way to do anything.

 

Sharat ran to get the news. When he came back in the evening, he told me that Bindu had gone to his cousins' house, but they got very angry and immediately sent him back to his in-laws' house. For this, the scars of what happened to them and the car rental penalty have not yet died from their minds.

 

Your mother-in-law has come to your house because she is going to visit Srikshetra. I said to you, 'I will also go.'

 

You are so happy to see that I have suddenly taken up such a religion that you do not object at all. It was also in my mind that if I am in Calcutta now, one day I will sit in front of Bindu again. Bisham Latha with me.

 

Wednesday is our departure day, Sunday is all set. I called Sarat and said, 'Anyway, you have to drop Bindu in the car to Puri on Wednesday.'

 

Autumn's face brightened; He said, 'Don't worry, sister, I will take him in the car and go to Puri. -- Jagannath will be seen by evasion. '

 

Autumn came again that evening. Seeing his face, my heart sank. I said, 'What, autumn? Don't understand the benefits?'

 

He said no.'

 

I said, 'Could you agree? '

 

He said, 'There is no need. He committed suicide by setting fire to his clothes last night. I got news from the nephew with whom I thought about the house, he left a letter in your name, but they destroyed that letter.'

 

Let's have peace.

 

The patriotic man stood up. He started saying, 'It has become a fashion to set girls' clothes on fire.'

 

You said, 'A-all the drama.' it will be But why the joke of the play is only on the Bengali girls and not on the Bengali heroes, that should also be considered.

 

Bindita's forehead is so burnt! As long as he lived he had no success in form -- even at the time of his death it never occurred to him that he would die in such a new way that the men of the country would clap their hands with joy. Even if you kill people!

 

Didi hid in the room and cried. But there was a comfort in those tears. In any case, it has been saved, the book is not dead! What could have happened if he had lived.

 

I have come on pilgrimage. Bindu didn't need to come anymore, but I did.

 

I did not have what people mean by sorrow in your world. The food and clothing in your house is not untidy; like your grandfather's character, there is no fault in your character that would call God evil. If you had the same nature as your grandfather, maybe my days would have passed like this and I would have tried to blame the god of the world instead of blaming the god of adulterers like my friend Boro Jay. Therefore, I do not want to raise any complaints on your behalf - that is not what this letter is for.

 

But I will not return to your number twenty-seven butter baral lane. I saw Bindu and I got the identity of a girl in the middle of the world. And I don't need it.

 

After that I also saw that even though she was a girl, God did not abandon her. No matter how much force you have on him, that force has an end. He is greater than your wretched humanity. You are the ones who will trample his life under your feet forever with your hands, your legs are not so long. Death is greater than you. In that death she is great -- there Bindu is not just the daughter of a Bengali house, not just the sister of a khurtatto brother, not just the swindled wife of a strange mad husband. He is eternal there.

 

The first day that death flute sounded through the broken heart of this girl, it pierced my chest like an arrow. I asked the Lord, why is everything in the world the most insignificant and the most difficult? Why is this tiny bubble of wall-to-wall bliss in the middle of the lane such a formidable barrier? Call out as your universe holds its six-season sudhapatra-No, why can't I just reach this threshold of this inner palace for a moment. With my life like this in your world, why should I die under the cover of that insignificant brick? How insignificant is this daily life of mine, how insignificant are all its binding rules, binding habits, binding bullies, all its bindings - but in the end, the nagpasha bond of that deena will win - and the defeat is your own creation of that joyous world?

 

But the flute of death began to sound -- where are the walls of masonry, where are the thorn fences made by your twisted laws; What grief and humiliation can keep people captive! That is the victory flag of life flying in the hands of death! Hey Mezobou, you are not afraid! It doesn't take even a moment to break the shell of your mistress.

 

I am not afraid of your street. In front of me today is the blue sea, above my head are clouds of gray.

 

You covered me in the darkness of your habits. For a moment Bindu came and looked at me through the hole in the veil. It was that girl who broke the veil with her death. Come out today, I have no place to keep my glory. This beautiful form of mine whose eyes are pleasing, is looking at me through all the beautiful sky. Mezobou is dead this time.

 

You think I'm going to die-- fear not, I won't play that old joke on you. Mirabai was a woman like me--her chains were no less heavy and she didn't have to die to live. Mirabai said in her song, 'Leave father, leave mother, leave wherever you are, but Meera stayed on, Lord - whatever happens to her.' To stick to this is to survive. I will live too. i will live

 

Your feet are broken--

 

Mrinal.